Perfectionism is a dangerous mindset because it focuses on being a success or a failure rather than on growing. Anytime something doesn't go perfectly, it causes great anxiety for people who are perfectionists. Sometimes it even stops this group of people from ever starting anything because they know they can't get it as perfect as they want it to be.
Mistakes cause anxiety and frustration in such a way that perfectionists feel completely defeated. Often, they just give up all together.
Those who are in this straight-jacket of perfectionism deal with self-doubt and personal shaming on a replay tape in their brains, constantly.
What about spiritual perfectionism?
I am constantly hearing Christian people say self-deprecating comments. They belittle themselves and put themselves down. In their innocence, I would say they do this in fear. I know I spent much of my younger years in fear over being seen as proud, arrogant or self-promoting.
We know we should be humble and self-denying.
We know that Christ calls us to take up our cross.
We know that we are full of selfish desires that we must constantly repress.
We know how dangerous pride is.
But, more and more, I notice in others that they misunderstand the definition of humility. Adults and teenagers, alike, need to understand the true meaning of Christlike humility and what it looks like in everyday life.
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Art. I'm not talking about museum-worthy art, or famous art, or even fancy art.
I'm talking about the creative act of making art, as a childhood rite of passage. Yes, even the celebration of their art by displaying it on your fridge. It shows that you value them, no matter what the "finished product" looks like!
Product-oriented art is that which focuses on a completed piece for display. As amazing as that is, the other type is process-oriented art, which I personally feel has more merit than ever before because the journey has so many messy lessons.
Aside from all the research validating why kids need art, I truly feel that art-making takes away the stress of the real world and lets a child be an innocent being. Oddly enough, people often don't participate in making art until they are out of the survival mode state of being. We must go beyond the monotony of barely treading water and truly search for life and connection. Connection can happen.
Have you heard the saying, "Your home should be the antidote to stress, not the cause of it" by Peter Walsh?
I know we're all busy. I know we all feel like we're already doing the best we can. Families have a new level of difficulties in parenting that no one could have predicted. It can be beyond hard.
But life is also really fragile. It is especially fragile if you or your family has been through trauma. Life means too much to stay stuck in a whirlwind of stress, particularly within your own home.
Your job might be beyond your control. Your choice for educating your children might be beyond your control at the moment. Lots of details about your life might be out of your control. But the atmosphere created within the walls of your home can be influenced greatly! Children are in desperate need of simple connection every day. Kids have always needed that but they do now more than ever. I see it everyday as a teacher.
